Tripping Over Typeset

A popular phrase right now is, “You are enough!”  Which I get. I get what people are trying to communicate.  It’s the whole idea that who I am as a person is enough. How I think about myself needs to be that “I am enough” just as I am.

Sometimes I luck out and I am enough for the situation.  For example, when my kid is crying because they have scraped their knee. I can scoop them up, clean the scratch, and kiss their tears away all while speaking loving, soothing words. In those ways I am enough for my kid.

I am enough when my family is hungry and I lay out their favorite spread to consume.

Those are easy ones.

But as a confident, hard-working, do-it-myself kind of person, when I get it wrong or fail to be enough it can smack hard.

This can happen to all of us.

Someone expects something from us and we fail. Good or bad… we fail.

• Sometimes we fail because we simply didn’t want to do it.
• We fail because other people’s expectations weren’t known to us.
• We fail because we didn’t follow through with what we communicated.
• And sometimes we fail because expectations are outside our capacity.

We don’t really like that word failed because dog-gone-it, if we fail then we feel bad. And if we feel bad then we have to look at ourselves and ask, “Am I enough?”

The simple truth is sometimes we are not enough.

We’re not enough to solve a relationship issue. We’re not enough to meet time demands put on us.  We’re not enough to fix the hard situation for those we love.

Sometimes we’re just not enough.

I thought about this while driving home today.

My mind was full of questions.  I was glad to be alone in the car. My mind was troubled and even the radio noise hurt my head.

I clicked it off and drove in silence.

My thoughts kept turning over information like a Rubik’s cube.

• if I change this, then maybe it will work
• if I say it this way maybe that will change their mind
• if I solve this whole side then maybe I’ll see a solution

But as I turned it over and over in my head, I came to the realization again that I am not enough.

• I’m not enough to solve this situation.
• I’m not enough to make them change their minds and choose better choices.
• I’m not enough to bring them back to the talking table so we can work things out.

I am not enough. And that is why I need God.

When I’m all about me being enough. Me solving the situation and me fixing what is broken I have put myself in a losing position. I’m not smart enough, good enough or knowledgeable enough to fix life.

But God… the Creator and Maker of all things, the One who sees all and knows all from the beginning to the end is enough.

And that’s where I have to leave it.

I have to leave it with Him.  As much as it worries me and troubles my heart, I can’t change life and what others choose.

In so many places and in so many ways, I am not enough.

But He Is Enough…in all places and in all ways!

He is the best place to put our trust.

During the quiet car ride home I finally gave up solving it on my own and prayed this simple prayer:

God, I can’t change this situation.  Nothing I do or say will make it go away. I can’t solve it and I can’t fix it. In so many ways I am not enough. But I believe that with You, good can come.  You may not solve it the way I would choose. And this situation may not resolve in a way I would like.

But I know in all things, when I choose Your way, You can work good in me.  Please grant me peace in the middle of all this. Help me see Your goodness in the midst of a not-so-good situation. Help me remember that You are always good even when I don’t see it. Help me see You and see Your grace.

My prayer for you is that whatever you face and wherever you find yourself you will find God to be enough. Lean into His grace, invite Him into your situation and let Him be enough.

Love to you— Rachel

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