Tripping Over Typeset

So I’ve got a great story for your Saturday morning read:

We got a new puppy right before Christmas.

You might be thinking, “Oh, a sweet Christmas puppy!”  She wasn’t a new puppy in that sense, she was 8 months old so still a puppy but not a newborn.

She’s still got a puppy-brain. Most of the time she’s pretty smart but other times… Oh, my word is she dumb!  It’s like those little kid brains where you say, “What were you thinking??”

My puppy is a chocolate lab and a food hound! Her previous owners named her Hazel after the Nutella Hazelnut spread and it stuck with her when she came to live with us. She will literally eat anything.  She doesn’t chew on shoes or toys but anything she thinks is eatable she will eat.

Last night we had an event. I left before my children and I returned home after they had already returned. I entered the mudroom where our Hazel stays while we are gone and saw the 22 1/2 pound birdseed container open with seed scattered on the floor.

I asked my kids, “Why is the birdseed open and scattered?” Which of course I received the typical answer, “It wasn’t me?”

As a grammar nerd I wanted to say, “I didn’t ask ‘Who’ I asked ‘Why” But that’s a whole other blog post.

The birdseed is in a tote with a lid and on the lid sits a tall bucket of umbrellas, which was also suspiciously out of the closet.

Because I had other stuff to do last night I didn’t push the matter. I swept up the scattered birdseed, put the lid back on the tote, placed the umbrella bucket back on top and closed the closet door.

I finished up the evening and went to bed because I was pretty done for the day.

I slept well until about 6:20 AM when I heard that distinguishable sound of vomit.

Yes, vomit. Dog vomit of the birdseed variety. In her crate, on her bed!

Of course that is exactly how I wanted to start my morning. Doesn’t everybody?

I immediately ran her outside. Dave cleaned up the vomit. And the day began.

Of course I didn’t feed her breakfast because she just puked.

I let her into the kitchen while I made coffee.

It wasn’t long until she was standing behind me and puking again. At my feet!

What a good dog!!! (That’s NOT what I was thinking!)

I immediately put her outside while I cleaned up the kitchen mess. I didn’t need her sniffing and walking through the vomit on the floor while I tried to clean it up. Because that’s exactly what she would have done.

After cleaning up her mess I looked outside. She typically will stay right outside the door if we are not with her. She waits there and looks longingly at us through the window to come outside with her or let her in.

But now, she wasn’t there.

I went looking for her and you know where I found her?

That’s right!  She was eating her vomit that had been cleaned off her bed and dumped onto the ground off the deck.

My mind sarcastically and immediately went to the Proverb.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. ~Proverbs 26:11

She is now emitting birdseed from both ends of her body and it’s a beautiful morning! Ugh!

But seriously, how often are we stupid like a dog?

I could go into a whole litany of wisdom bullet points here about how we don’t always choose wisely and how we return to the vomit that just made us sick but that seems like a whole lot of over-spiritualizing things and I don’t like that.

Plus I have a dog to take care of.

Cleaning up after her was not in my original planning of the day so I’m just going to leave it at this…

Don’t be a dog!