My first step was a misstep.
Right out of the gate I chose poorly.
I woke up late and instead of dropping my kid off at school and then showering, I decided I had just enough time to jump in quick and still get him there on time.
That was my first misstep.
Then he wasn’t as ready to make decisions as I was. Nothing sounded good to him at breakfast… or for his packed lunch.
I hadn’t made it to the store for his favorites so different snacks had to be chosen.
Nothing was turning out easy or simple in this morning routine.
Rushing to the car and throwing his backpack and packed lunch in, I sped down the driveway only to find myself stuck behind a school bus picking up other school kids.
With every stop my irritation grew.
My annoyance exploded all over Matthew …“If you had eaten your breakfast faster, we wouldn’t be stuck behind this bus.”
There was only quiet stillness from the backseat.
“Grrr….” I kept growling! — “Seriously, we have to stop at houses where the kid is obviously not there!!!” My rant kept going and my son grew quieter.
I noticed his shrinking self in the back seat and I knew my spewing wasn’t setting a good tone for either of our days.
I followed the school bus in silence to the corner.
The bus turned left and I turned right — Right into the realization and remembrance that I choose my attitude – I choose what I spew.
It wasn’t my son who was having a bad day, it was me — spewing my junk on a kid who was going to be away all day, facing his own choices and his own attitude decisions.
I spotted his quiet self in the rearview mirror and aimed for a better tone… “Matt, we’re going to have a good day! — We’re going to do better and choose better!”
And then that small kid in the back seat spoke some big words to his mama.
“Umm, Mom? ….. I think it’s interesting how you turned your attitude when we turned the corner from the bus.”
And right there it smacked me again.
I, as a big person, can choose to turn my attitude.
“Good observation, Matt. I guess I did. And today, we are going to turn on a good attitude, right, Bud?”
Arriving at school, I dropped him off with a kiss and hug and headed back home.
For that short drive, my self talk began chattering away at me:
- “Why do you fly off the handle like that?”
- “Why can’t you keep your mouth shut and your head cool?”
My self loathing continued while I fell into the corner chair and opened my devotional for the morning.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” ~ Lamentations 3:22-23
No matter how we wake in the morning or what we face in the day, He is with us.
The schedules and rush of the days can overwhelm us and we can feel our heads bobbing, trying to stay afloat, but because of His great love, we are not consumed.
- Yes, I could have showered later.
- Yes, I could have packed his lunch the night before.
- And yes, I could have gotten up earlier.
But none of those things happened and I was facing a morning of bad beginnings. But like Matt pointed out. I didn’t have to stay behind that bus of grumbling and complaining. I can turn the corner.
This quote sits in my brain as a quiet reminder.
I can’t always choose my situation, but I can always choose my attitude.
It’s a reminder to us that our world can sometimes swarm and overwhelm; yet in the midst of all that, we are not consumed.
His love calms, reassures and keeps us afloat.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. ~~~ Psalm 143:8
Today, friends, let’s choose together to turn the corner and let His great love lead us.
You are loved,
Wow. What an amazing learning. I am in a program where we are learning these things about ourselves a lot by our experiences, reflection and feedback. Very poignant and (my guess is) unforgettable experience. Blessings on you.
Thank you. Yes, it’s so important to stay reflective and change these things as they come to attention. Thanks for stopping in and sharing!