Don’t you hate when something small happens and it gets under your skin causing great havoc in your life?
That happened to me this week.
I shoved my hand into my bag searching for my keys. Something sharp jammed under my fingernail and into that tender spot between the nail and skin. OWWW!
I yanked my hand out and examined my finger. Ouch! Small droplets of blood were peeking out from under the nail but mostly it just hurt.
I continued packing up and digging for keys. I found the keys and put them in my coat pocket, reminding myself again… Stop dropping your keys in this big bag. You can never find them!
That finger bled small drops while I washed the car. It bled while preparing dinner and it was really annoying while doing dishes. (Those band-aids won’t stay on in dishwater!)
The rest of the evening I sort of tucked my finger into my palm attempting to shield it from further pain; trying not to bump it again.
I would love to say I forgot about it but I couldn’t. That little spot of pain kept bothering me.
I’d forget about it for a moment but then I’d pick something up and that little finger would get nudged again.
Even while typing this out, every time that finger strikes a key I feel it!
How can something so small cause so much havoc?
This happens more than we want to acknowledge.
A word spoken here, rejection over there and that small poke to our feelings can show small droplets of annoyance and pain that hurts our heart.
We go about our day paying special attention to not bump it again. We pull back, shielding ourselves and that tender spot.
And as time goes by we sort of forget about it until someone bumps into us again and we’re reminded… I’m not quite okay with that yet.
Tender spots can be words spoken, an unkind action, too much done or not enough done…. a miscommunication that results in unresolved conflict and unsettled emotions.
We can stew over interactions and imagine all kinds of scenarios for what happened or what was said but until understanding comes and communication happens, healing can’t really take place.
How do we clear out what is bothering us and get the healing process happening?
- Clear Our Conscience – Evaluate our own thoughts and emotions. What is really upsetting us? Was it words? Actions? Or is something going on in the background and this event triggered the hurt and bumped it again? When we can honestly stop, evaluate our own part in the incident we are better able to address the real issue going on.
- Clear the Confusion – If there is conflict with another, ignoring the issue will not bring healing. Instead uncertainty happens, insecurity sets in and resentment builds up. Having a conversation and clearing up what happened, talking about what was said or done can clear the way for better communication.
- Clear the Crime – Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God, in Christ, forgave you.” Mishaps happen. Little irritations get under our skin and cause great havoc… if we let them. Remembering to be kind, forgiving and generous with our grace towards others goes a long way in reminding ourselves how Christ deals with us.
Tough conversations can be difficult and scary. Reaching out to someone who has gotten under our skin and hurt our heart isn’t as simple as we sometimes lay it out to be.
But following these three steps above have helped me heal from hurts done to me intentionally and unintentionally along with growing in grace towards myself and others.
Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. ~James 1:19 (NIV)
My prayer for you today is this: If there is something under your skin causing great havoc in your heart, ask God to help you find a way to clear it away and find joy in the day given to you!
Happy Wednesday, friends!
Linking up with: #CoffeeforYourHeart,
Wise words. I am keeping top of mind that I am not what has happened to me. I am me, and those things have brushed up against me–maybe hit me head on–but who I am is my choice. To be shaped or not is my choice . . . .
Absolutely!!!! There are times words are said to me, situations happen toward me and I’ve had to learn to not take it all personally. When this happens I have this mantra in my head… “This is more about them then me. This is not about me.” There are times people speak out of their own hurt and end up hurting others (including me) in the process and I have to remind myself that I choose what will get under my skin and bug me and what I will wash away and move on from. I completely agree with you… “Who I am is my choice.” Well said, friend! Thanks for jumping in and sharing! 🙂
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