This Mother’s Day seems to be harder than the last few years. My mother has been in heaven for 14 years. Fourteen years without her.
Some days are harder and some are easier.
Last year at this time I barely had time to think of her or the days since she’s been gone. We were closing on our house and I was packing up where I had grieved her in the beginning days… days of crying and not wanting to get dressed… days when I longed for conversations with her but settled for talking to the ceiling, hoping she listened.
In those beginning days, grief buried me in. Breathing was difficult and every celebration and holiday brought a new flood of tears. I became weary of weeping.
Those days I remember.
This year I have stood and cried in the crowd at funerals. Not just for the sadness of those now gone but my eyes move toward the family standing in the front knowing of their difficult journey ahead.
My heart hurts for them.
My heart hurts for the days when they’ll miss conversations and instead settle for words spoken into the air. Days when the chair opposite them is hollow, empty… and anyone sitting there won’t fill the void.
I remember those days. I still have those days. Not as many and not as often yet they still happen and they’re still there… those days I remember and it hurts.
The trees in my yard are blooming and all that is meant to live is coming alive again.
In the spring, I’m reminded that things buried over and submerged in the ground will rise to bloom and grow again.
This Mother’s Day you may feel buried and submerged in grief. Deep thoughts and heavy tears may fill your head and spill over. It’s okay to let them fall.
- It’s good to remember
- It’s good to process
- It’s good to grieve
Through grief you will live again. All that buries you underneath will give way to life and joy will emerge. You will come up from this dark place and bloom again.
Winter passes and the nourishing time of rest and grieving you give yourself will strengthen you to live again.
Not only can we give ourselves rest but we can lean into God’s grace.
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV)
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me.” (Psalm 23:4 NIV)
“I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13 NIV)
Mother’s Day can be hard for many and for different reasons.
Today, can I encourage you?
On those difficult days of loss and hard living remember there is more life for you to live. This is not the end… though it may feel it right now… It is not the end but a different beginning. There is more growing and more blooming days ahead.
You will emerge.
You will bloom again.
Linking up with: #InspireMeMonday